Call Allstate TODAY: 1-800-255-7828. Male DV Victims are Not in Good Hands
Nearly everyone has heard the expression, “You’re in good hands with Allstate.” And now the Allstate Insurance Company has set up a domestic violence grant program.
But its website features the usual parade of one-sided and flawed statistics:
“Each day in the U.S. three women die as the result of domestic violence.”
“More than one in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.”
To see the real truth of domestic violence, see this Fact Sheet: “Seven Key Facts about Domestic Violence” –  http://saveservices.org/pdf/Seven-Facts-Every-American-Should-Know-About-DV.pdf ÂÂ
Complain to Allstate now: 1-800-255-7828
Or email: http://messaging.allstate.com/corp.aspx ÂÂ
But don’t complain just once — do it every hour today until Allstate posts balanced information on its website.
| More from Abusegate Bob
Stumble It!
I absolutely disagree with targeting AllState because of what you seem to see as gender discrimination. I work in a domestic violence shelter, and have for the past 5 years. We of course help all men, women, children and transgender individuals in abusive situations. But the facts we produce each year have to be honest – and these facts come from our shelter statistics – and if we’re being honest, 98% of our clientele is women. We aren’t saying that millions of abused men aren’t out there in the world. But we can’t lie and say we’ve helped them when we haven’t.
Don’t blame All State when all they are trying to do is help ALL victims of domestic abuse. Our area shelters have received money from All State, which goes to our programming, which, as I said previously, helps individuals of all sexes and ages. Until there are actual supported studies and facts that NCADV puts out, you can’t be sure the facts are truthful.
Do you hear about gay individuals being abused often? Hmong indiduals? No? How is it any different? Getting the word out that men are also abused is very important, and a noble idea. We see it here. But again, we see our clientele as 98% female. Sorry to burst your bubble.
~Amy~
Amy, you said “We of course help all men, women, children and transgender individuals in abusive situations” but then said “98% of our clientele is women”
I would like to ask, do you call this domestic violence shelter a woman’s abuse center? Even if you have a gender neutral name, do you put out public service announcements to tell MEN that they can seek help there also? Or is it a well kept secret so that we can once again hear that 98% are women (which I see is up 3% from the standard 95%)
I ask because we had a woman join Shattered Men who said something very similar to what you said here. I asked her the same questions and NO they did not say anywhere that they helped abused men. It was a well kept secret.
Amy, men have come to expect that when they seek help for being abused they will either get arrested, be called a liar and told they are the abuser and or be laughed at and hung up on. I also ask, what help do you give men who do come to your shelter? Do you enroll them in batter’s class to teach them not to abuse women? I have found that many shelters who say they help men do just that…they treat them as the abuser.
Case in point, the director of “Hands of Hope”, the shelter in the town where Shattered Men is located placed an entry in the Shattered Men guest book. I found her suggestion on how to improve SM very interesting:
“I would suggest you search and look at the web site for a group called MEN CAN STOP RAPE. They seem to be a group of men who are taking the issue of domestic violence and sexual violence and working on how to change society for the positive.
You can read my reply to her here:
http://shatterdmen.com/Guestbook.htm
It is also interesting that she never replied to me. I guess when you only address one side, you can keep your head buried in the sand.
http://shatterdmen.com/Head%20in%20Sand.htm
AMY: “Don’t blame All State when all they are trying to do is help ALL victims of domestic abuse. Our area shelters have received money from All State,
IF you think AllState helps ALL victims of abuse, I can now understand why you say your shelter helps men. Have you even looked at the Allstate website? I have carefully looked at it and could not NO …ZERO….NADA….ZIP references to men being abuse. 100% of it was focused on women and women only as they did not even give abused men LIP SERVICE.
There is a reason for this, just as there is a reason your shelter helps 98% women. They would lose MONEY from VAWA if they helped men.
Check it out for yourself
http://shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20too.htm
http://shatterdmen.com/pagetwo.htm
Amy, you also said ” We aren’t saying that millions of abused men aren’t out there in the world. But we can’t lie and say we’ve helped them when we haven’t.”
I thank you for your honesty. One of the most common reasons men are not helped when they call the local shelters is that as soon as they find out a man is seeking help, they hang up on them. They do not even tell them where they can seek help. I have seen this for myself.
I have had several men tell me their pastors at churches refused to help them. One Yahoo group even stated it was for women only and when they accidently sent me an invitation, they told me they could not help men and banned me without telling me where I could get help. Another group focused on domestic violence and said they helped women AND men but the first time a man posted that he was abused, many including the moderators accused him of being the abuser. No one offered him any help. In a former message board, a woman shelter director told me I could not ask those who came to SM what they may have done to provoke an attack but when a man posted that he was abused by his wife. she asked him “What did you do to deserve it?”
Amy now do you see what not a few men face daily…but tens of thousands of men. WHY in the world would they seek help at your shelter unless you make it clear through PSA that you know that men are abused on an equal basis as are women and they will get help on an EQUAL basis as are women? Still it will take a long time before most men will trust you. It will only come by word of mouth as men tell other men that they can get help at your shelter.
If your shelter does NOT do this….the next time there is a domestic violence related suicide where a man has taken his life after the court has stripped him of all he had including his children, or the next murder suicide….ask yourself could YOUR shelter have prevented this if he had only been offered help? OR…will his blood be on YOUR hands? Amy, please print this and give it to your shelter director too. She can contact me if she needs more information. You can find my contact information on the Shattered Men website.
Amy I also just noticed “Until there are actual supported studies and facts that NCADV [National Coalition Against Domestic Violence] puts out, you can’t be sure the facts are truthful.”
FAT CHANCE of that Amy. NCADV is run by the shelter industry and getting men recognized would be like saying you will not believe the racial problems Blacks have until you see it put out by the KKK. I tried to get Shattered Men listed with them once but to do so; I needed a referral by the local women’s shelter, the same one that tells us men are not abused. Results Amy….it appears that you set the standards to believe US so high that there is no way we can show you the truth….you are willfully blind.
Amy, you said “We of course help all men, women, children and transgender individuals in abusive situations†but then said “98% of our clientele is womenâ€Â
I would like to ask, do you call this domestic violence shelter a woman’s abuse center? Even if you have a gender neutral name, do you put out public service announcements to tell MEN that they can seek help there also? Or is it a well kept secret so that we can once again hear that 98% are women (which I see is up 3% from the standard 95%)
I ask because we had a woman join Shattered Men who said something very similar to what you said here. I asked her the same questions and NO they did not say anywhere that they helped abused men. It was a well kept secret.
Amy, men have come to expect that when they seek help for being abused they will either get arrested, be called a liar and told they are the abuser and or be laughed at and hung up on. I also ask, what help do you give men who do come to your shelter? Do you enroll them in batter’s class to teach them not to abuse women? I have found that many shelters who say they help men do just that…they treat them as the abuser.
Case in point, the director of “Hands of Hopeâ€Â, the shelter in the town where Shattered Men is located placed an entry in the Shattered Men guest book. I found her suggestion on how to improve SM very interesting:
“I would suggest you search and look at the web site for a group called MEN CAN STOP RAPE. They seem to be a group of men who are taking the issue of domestic violence and sexual violence and working on how to change society for the positive.
You can read my reply to her here:
shatterdmen.com/Guestbook.htm
It is also interesting that she never replied to me. I guess when you only address one side, you can keep your head buried in the sand.
shatterdmen.com/Head%20in%20Sand.htm
AMY: “Don’t blame All State when all they are trying to do is help ALL victims of domestic abuse. Our area shelters have received money from All State,
IF you think AllState helps ALL victims of abuse, I can now understand why you say your shelter helps men. Have you even looked at the Allstate website? I have carefully looked at it and could not NO …ZERO….NADA….ZIP references to men being abuse. 100% of it was focused on women and women only as they did not even give abused men LIP SERVICE.
There is a reason for this, just as there is a reason your shelter helps 98% women. They would lose MONEY from VAWA if they helped men.
Check it out for yourself
shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20too.htm
shatterdmen.com/pagetwo.htm
Amy, you also said †We aren’t saying that millions of abused men aren’t out there in the world. But we can’t lie and say we’ve helped them when we haven’t.â€Â
I thank you for your honesty. One of the most common reasons men are not helped when they call the local shelters is that as soon as they find out a man is seeking help, they hang up on them. They do not even tell them where they can seek help. I have seen this for myself.
I have had several men tell me their pastors at churches refused to help them. One Yahoo group even stated it was for women only and when they accidently sent me an invitation, they told me they could not help men and banned me without telling me where I could get help. Another group focused on domestic violence and said they helped women AND men but the first time a man posted that he was abused, many including the moderators accused him of being the abuser. No one offered him any help. In a former message board, a woman shelter director told me I could not ask those who came to SM what they may have done to provoke an attack but when a man posted that he was abused by his wife. she asked him “What did you do to deserve it?â€Â
Amy now do you see what not a few men face daily…but tens of thousands of men. WHY in the world would they seek help at your shelter unless you make it clear through PSA that you know that men are abused on an equal basis as are women and they will get help on an EQUAL basis as are women? Still it will take a long time before most men will trust you. It will only come by word of mouth as men tell other men that they can get help at your shelter.
If your shelter does NOT do this….the next time there is a domestic violence related suicide where a man has taken his life after the court has stripped him of all he had including his children, or the next murder suicide….ask yourself could YOUR shelter have prevented this if he had only been offered help? OR…will his blood be on YOUR hands? Amy, please print this and give it to your shelter director too. She can contact me if she needs more information. You can find my contact information on the Shattered Men website