Dr. Warren Farrell responds to Senator Reid’s comments that joblessness breeds domestic violence by men
“When money doesn’t come in the door, love goes out the window.”
When Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said Monday that men who don’t have jobs are more likely to to be perpetrators of domestic violence, he was very right and very wrong. Yes, joblessness leads to domestic violence. But no, domestic violence is less-frequently male-to-female than it is an interaction between the man and woman that increasingly escalates, resulting in both hitting each other; the second most-frequent method of domestic violence is revealed by more than 100 studies of domestic violence done in the last quarter century: women being the first to hit the man (as acknowledged by both the woman and man); the third-most-frequent is the man being the first to hit the woman.
There are bigger understandings here. First, joblessness is powerlessness. Domestic violence often emanates from a feeling of powerlessness. Flint, Michigan prior to General Motors’ layoffs in the mid-80′s had a very low incidence of domestic violence; but after layoffs, had a very high incidence–not just of domestic violence, but of suicides and alcoholism–all manifestations of powerlessness.
Second is solutions. Joblessness requires two things: jobs, and family communication. The fewer the jobs, the greater the need for communication skills and training. Often, when a man loses a job, his wife loses respect. Often, “When money doesn’t come in the door, love goes out the window.” Precisely when a family most needs each other they most desert each other. Their communication skills cannot match their emotional needs. That’s why the fewer the jobs, the greater the need for communication skills and training.
Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
www.warrenfarrell.com
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Stumble It!
Men are told they are responsible for providing for their family. If they are unemployed, many will feel like a failure and then salt is added to the wounds when his wife often will verbally abuse him for not finding a job right away.
If they happen to have to pay child support, well we know that the amount will seldom be decreased based upon unemployment so they often get called dead beat dads on top of all the other abuse.
In reality, I contend that men for the most part show a lot of integrity in holding things together in spite of all the odds that are stacked against them by society.
Great response shattered……
Harry should look at the first “stimulus” that went to the interests of N.O.W. and took from male professions……
Obama has met with N.O.W. more than ANY OTHER group since he took office…..
We are in for the fight of our lives boys…..and our son’s lives as well….
Keep the heat on Harry!